Here I am, naked and curled up against the cold, sitting in the dark, listening to The Who at 4 o'clock in the morning, but I had an extraordinary day yesterday.
I woke up pissed off - and I know I said the word "cunt" at least once in front of my mother. I meant it in the English sense but there's no explaining that now...
There was a journey to the town where I grew up for a party celebrating the marriage of my sister and brother-in-law. I behaved myself at the bar but this was already shaping up to be a lost weekend. Champagne flowing down just like rain, et cetera....
I don't think I would survive right now without the happiness I feel for my sister. Plain and simple. She goes through hell every day for something terrible she did as a child and I know she will carry that with her to the grave. She's doing something extraordinary now though - she's found love and commits to it. And I don't think she could find a better man to find it in. Today, we celebrated that and it was truly good and so much more than I ever hoped for.
I don't mean a dismal tone to this post. I really don't. Today was wonderful. I suppose this may be how I learn my outlook. And maybe how I change it.
And today just got better! I got an unexpected phone call from a friend and we went out and had dinner together at a favorite Vietnamese restaurant. It's good to talk to other writers - writers know how to talk, though I must admit I have no recollection of what we talked about.
I want to see alignment and purpose more than ever. I am so tired of crashes. I have been living in an ongoing crash for far too long and the slow motion only stifles the impact in theory.
I woke up pissed off - and I know I said the word "cunt" at least once in front of my mother. I meant it in the English sense but there's no explaining that now...
There was a journey to the town where I grew up for a party celebrating the marriage of my sister and brother-in-law. I behaved myself at the bar but this was already shaping up to be a lost weekend. Champagne flowing down just like rain, et cetera....
I don't think I would survive right now without the happiness I feel for my sister. Plain and simple. She goes through hell every day for something terrible she did as a child and I know she will carry that with her to the grave. She's doing something extraordinary now though - she's found love and commits to it. And I don't think she could find a better man to find it in. Today, we celebrated that and it was truly good and so much more than I ever hoped for.
I don't mean a dismal tone to this post. I really don't. Today was wonderful. I suppose this may be how I learn my outlook. And maybe how I change it.
And today just got better! I got an unexpected phone call from a friend and we went out and had dinner together at a favorite Vietnamese restaurant. It's good to talk to other writers - writers know how to talk, though I must admit I have no recollection of what we talked about.
I want to see alignment and purpose more than ever. I am so tired of crashes. I have been living in an ongoing crash for far too long and the slow motion only stifles the impact in theory.
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