My work entails being outside a lot. On a cold day like today, I needed to layer up more than I did and so the day was pretty miserable. The cold completely permeated my knees and they have yet to feel thawed out. It feels like ice radiating from deep within my bones.
Other than that, I like the job. I like helping people. I know it's not the same as what the doctors and the nurses do, but I still listen to these people who are voicing grief and fear and pain and I do my best to be compassionate. A man told me how his wife was dying of cancer - she had suffered off and on for seven years, but this time she was going to lose.
Another man told me how he'd had a stroke today and had been life-flighted over a hundred miles away from his hometown. He looked too young for such an event and it shocked me. He had no jacket, no cellphone, no wallet, no identification - nothing but a long return journey home and naturally, his car breaks down while his wife is on the road to rescue him. He asked me for a couple of dollars and explained he wasn't a bum. He apologized to me for his dreadful situation and asked if I knew where a homeless shelter was. I gave him five dollars and he was out the door so fast I didn't have time to think I should have given him ten.
I feel all these moments adding perspective to my own suffering. At the end of the day, all of the deep, deep blues that I see reminds me how I do have my health. My worries feel smaller and I know I have many reasons to feel fortunate. I have the love of my family and friends - I have friends I didn't really know I had and I feel such gratitude to them all.
Also, and this may be the one thought that made me smile today, I remembered that I rejected my wife's notion that I should get a vasectomy. It's far too early for me to really contemplate having another child but I like that I still have the option. I'd like to give my son a brother or a sister. I hate not being able to do more for him.
Anyway, it's nice to sign off on a hopeful note.
Other than that, I like the job. I like helping people. I know it's not the same as what the doctors and the nurses do, but I still listen to these people who are voicing grief and fear and pain and I do my best to be compassionate. A man told me how his wife was dying of cancer - she had suffered off and on for seven years, but this time she was going to lose.
Another man told me how he'd had a stroke today and had been life-flighted over a hundred miles away from his hometown. He looked too young for such an event and it shocked me. He had no jacket, no cellphone, no wallet, no identification - nothing but a long return journey home and naturally, his car breaks down while his wife is on the road to rescue him. He asked me for a couple of dollars and explained he wasn't a bum. He apologized to me for his dreadful situation and asked if I knew where a homeless shelter was. I gave him five dollars and he was out the door so fast I didn't have time to think I should have given him ten.
I feel all these moments adding perspective to my own suffering. At the end of the day, all of the deep, deep blues that I see reminds me how I do have my health. My worries feel smaller and I know I have many reasons to feel fortunate. I have the love of my family and friends - I have friends I didn't really know I had and I feel such gratitude to them all.
Also, and this may be the one thought that made me smile today, I remembered that I rejected my wife's notion that I should get a vasectomy. It's far too early for me to really contemplate having another child but I like that I still have the option. I'd like to give my son a brother or a sister. I hate not being able to do more for him.
Anyway, it's nice to sign off on a hopeful note.
No comments:
Post a Comment